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It may become clearer what the concept of “self-help” is if we consider what self-help is not. For instance, self-help is not always and automatically responding to a situation, even if the response is very effective. It is not coming across a certain solution by chance or pure luck. It is not being careless to ways our condition could be improved even if, our ignorance allows us to cope with our current situation. It is not going along with or being driven by our emotions in pointless directions.

It is not getting relief by avoiding difficult situations if a better solution could be found. It is not pretending that we are doing our best if our coping skills could be improved. It is not living outside our purpose if we can find meaning to our life. It is not awaiting our failure or becoming overwhelmed by helpless and assuming success is possible.

It is not happily looking down upon the genes, physiological factors, cultural patterns, traditions, unconscious forces, and other elements that influence our lives in harmful ways, if there are possibilities to increase our awareness and eliminate the unwanted aspects of those factors. It is not about joining a group or going to therapy, talking to a friend hoping to find someone who will save you from your desolated condition. As I have stated over and over again, self-help does not simply involve dealing with life’s crisis situation, even though that is the current emphasis.

Self-help should enable us to prevent further problems and find greater and more exhilarating purposes, to be more affectionate and grateful, and to achieve higher successes than would have otherwise been the case. Of course, a highly competent self-helper is aware of many of his or her real potential difficulties and weaker points and is able to quickly come up with a plan to improve the current situation. An ineffective self-helper cannot or refuses to do these things.

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